Tagged: shame

Well, Hello There Beautiful.

Ah, internet. I’ve come back to my poor, darling, neglected blog.

It’s funny, I thought writing less a week would mean I’d have more time to come up with incredibly awesome ideas to write about, but that has not proven to be the case. Instead, I’m finding that I have totally awesome ideas, but then I go back to playing Warcraft or watching Netflix or whatever and I just let that good idea go back to the idea graveyard or whatever.

However, I have been shamed back into action by Jennie Saia of Tip Of My Tongue, who is as funny, sweet, and refreshing as I am ironic, dramatic and punny. Check her out!

What have I been up to besides not writing and working my ass off? Well, I’ve been focusing on three things, mainly.

1. I went back to my Challenge to order out less and cook more. Yes, I wrote that post in early December and it’s now February. It’s been a bit of a hectic 2014, if you haven’t figured that out yet. I gave myself a ten-day no ordering food test last Tuesday, and so far I’ve done… decently. I have been doing a fair amount of cooking and eating what I’m making. Technically, I did eat takeout on Friday, but Captain Apollo got the food, so it wasn’t really delivery. Right?

Lemon rosemary chicken? Yum yum and four meals done.

Lemon rosemary chicken? Yum yum and four meals done.

2. On a related note, I’ve been working out a lot more as part of my initiative to lose a little weight. It has been going. Not great, not quickly, not even particularly efficiently, but going. It’s been great, but god it’s a timesuck.

3. I made this Bob Ross inspired lampshade. Because, y’know.

bobross

 

Anyways, I have been shamed, and I will make a bigger effort to make this a priority.

Here goes nothing.

Right at the end of 2012 I read an article on Cracked.com that I sincerely hope has changed my life. I read it once through and re-read it immediately, bookmarked it, took notes on it, and read it again.

If you haven’t bothered to click the link it’s essentially about a scene in the movie Glengarry Glen Ross in which Alec Balwin’s character is giving a speech to a bunch of employees. It’s a decently long speech, but the summation is this- the world doesn’t care about you if you produce nothing, so if you want to work here, get results. If you want to work here, close.

I am a self confessed non-closer. I’m pretty much as non-committal as they come. I think what’s worse is that I’m very good at lying to myself and others about how good I am at things I’m supposed to be good at, at writing, and at the six or seven petty jobs I work to buy myself shit I don’t need.

I am fortunate. I come from a good family who I adore and who adore me and who will support me in even my craziest endeavors. However, I’m beginning to suspect that I’ve been living with the deep-rooted belief that I am guaranteed a good life, and recently It’s been sinking in that if I wallow long enough in my own apathetic unproductiveness, I will one day wake up unable to dig myself out of the hole I am currently creating.

So I suppose, in my own way, this is me publicly shaming myself to do something about it. To produce. To have something to my name when I tell people I’m a writer and they roll their eyes at me. A blog about myself, for myself, in the spirit of creation. A blog I can post something on, no matter how small or stupid, every day, just to defy that little voice in my head screaming at me saying that I will fail.

Let’s roll, bitches.