If you haven’t been following the Cat Situation, start here.
So my New Year’s resolution to not actively despite my feline foe Marmaduke has been going surprisingly well, and I’ve even got my parents (somewhat) on board. He even sat next to me on the couch yesterday on purpose.
My mom’s been trying to figure out a way to get him to stop destroying everything in our house, or at least the things that our two idiot dogs haven’t already ruined, and we talked over the possibility of getting him declawed. After consultation with our vet, however, it turned out that declawing was a way bigger deal than we’d sort of figured it would be, although honestly, I don’t know what I was envisioning would happen. Maybe that they would just sort of super trim them down? I don’t know.
Anyways, the declawing route turned out to be a no go, because even though my family doesn’t really like the cat so much, we don’t want to torture the thing. So Mom took Marm in for a checkup and a talk with the vet, and the vet said that Marmaduke was depressed and really stressed out and anxious, so among other things like suggesting we buy a pheromone collar and a pheromone scenty thing, she put our cat on Prozac.
I’m going to let that sink in.
Because my cat is depressed.
It’s a cat, for heaven’s sake. Can’t we just toss a mouse at it? Do we have to start taking him to cat therapy and wean down his nip addiction and be extra sensitive about his feelings and emotions now? Should I ask him if he’s getting bullied by Tom and Jerry in the alleyway? Should I check if he’s been nipping down to the local pub for a pint?
Apparently he’s upset because we just had construction done in our house, because that’s a thing with cats. I wasn’t aware we have to discuss housing projects with the animals now. Our dogs walked around the new room a few times and got over it, but noooo the cat’s emotionally unstable. He can’t handle construcation because of his delicate constitution.
Do you think he’s miffed about the paint colors we chose?
So one of my New Year’s resolutions was to fall back in love with my cat, Marmaduke. I have been trying really hard to do this. It is an uphill battle. It does not help that my parents don’t like him either and that he’s quite possibly a sociopath.
I’ve taken to calling him Meowmix because friends give each other nicknames and I thought I would try to encourage a light, familiar sort of relationship. He doesn’t respond to it, but then again, he doesn’t respond to his actual name either.
We had a positive interaction the other day I thought I might share. I gave him a piece of steak and scratched him behind the ears and he quite tenderly sunk his claws into my leg and tried to chew my hand off. I mean, he did lose all of his teeth somehow (I’m still a little clueless on that front) so it was more of a furious gumming. But there was almost a glint of love in his cold, calculating, hate filled gaze.
I even put a little extra food in his bowl the other day and he thanked me by drooling into my sneakers. I though he might be hungry because he was stealing dog food pellets out of Pepper’s dish, but later I found it on the floor across the room, so I think Marm was just trying to make it slightly less convenient for my pup to eat dinner.