Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the alley,
Cassandra was losing- by quite a huge tally.
Her cousins and Madre and Granny to boot
Decided her gutter streak was quite the hoot.
The lanes were all full of young kids using bumpers
But they all bowled better – jeez, what high numbers!
Yet Cassandra had hopes for the rest of the eve-
For her pie-making prowess had yet to be seen.
So Cass and Cuz One peeled, sliced, and prepared;
Not an apple or cranberry was sugar-spared
And Cuz Two in the bath, with shampoo in her hair,
Yelled to keep the door closed, for her bottom was bare.
The aunt and the uncle amused Gramps and Gran,
While Cuz One sliced and diced all the pecans.
With the dogs full of treats and Cass full of beer,
We were all cheered that Dad would soon be here.
Merry Christmas, y’all.
I actually have a little money left over in the bank this month internet, which means that it’s time to start buying Christmas presents.
Because, as I learned the hard way last year, waiting until the last minute and buying everyone something at one time is a really great way to be totally broke.
So a few days ago, I started looking around for something for my two baby cousins, when I realized that my two baby cousins aren’t exactly babies anymore. Actually, they’re 8 and 10, rapidly approaching 9 and 11, and they’re starting to develop, like, thought processes.
Y’know, beyond whoa, I love hot chocolate and hey Dora, the bridge is right behind you, moron.
I’ve driven past the local high school more then once over the past year, and have noticed that the kids (okay, young adults) seem to be wearing and doing things I don’t recognize. That’s one thing. But when your aunt tells you your ten-year-old cousin just acquired an iPod Touch and does face-time with her friends to solve homework problems, or that your eight-year-old cousin wears ties and fedoras to school, you apparently feel a whole different level of old.
Then of course you realize that your own Christmas list includes words like casserole dish and work clothes and really nice duvet and oh my god you better get in the car and go buy some arthritis medication because apparently you’re eighty.
Side note – what are Lego Friends? Also, are fedoras cool again?
I thought we already lived through that once.