If you live under a rock (or watch more Honey Boo Boo than news), the U.S. government has been shut down since early Tuesday morning.
For most of America, or at least for 95% of the people I’ve spoken to on and off line since then, this was monumentally less exciting then the finale of Breaking Bad that aired on Sunday night. Or the fact that today is unofficially Mean Girls day.
I seem to be the only one who want to know who is feeding the animals now that the National Zoo is shut down (don’t worry, they’re okay. I checked).
And / or why there was a Ku Klux Klan meeting scheduled at Gettysburg in the first place.
Or, y’know, real questions, like what effect the shutdown is going to have on the national debt, how the hell government workers are going to catch-up with the giant backlog of work they’re going to have, and how we’re going to mollify all the pissed-off veterans not getting paid.
Yet I digress. Let’s talk about hypothetical situations we’d actually freak out about, like:
1. If we all woke up this morning and there was no coffee anywhere on the planet.
Seriously. Don’t even think about it. It’s too awful. Housewives in hair curlers (if they still exist) would be roaming the streets in packs searching for any last trace of caffeine. Britain would have to quarantine themselves off from over-eager tea drinkers. Meanwhile, China’s economy would boom so hard. Like, so hard, you guys.
2. If Game of Thrones lost its funding and stopped making shows.
There are fandoms and there are fandoms. I’m pretty sure anyone who is capable of making this:
Is capable of a tantrum tantamount to what happened when Firefly went down with the ship. Times 30.
Winter is coming.
3. If Justin Bieber cut his hair again.
Okay internet. So if you read my last Manuscript Mondays post, you know that this whole writing a book thing isn’t really going so well. 50 pages by March 15th is starting to look less and less like a realistic goal. However, I’m not exactly one for realism.
I had a coffee break with my writing mentor A last Wednesday and he assured me that my work was not as bad as I think that it is. He is essentially the Supreme Ruler of Making Me Calm Down About My Writing Related Insecurities. We workshopped for about an hour about plot, and he told me I have something decent to work from, which made me feel much better about everything. Side note- last week was apparently my mental crisis breakdown week. Sorry, readers (not sorry).
So let’s get into the nitty gritty of it, then, and we’ll se where we end up.
Our main character, Marie Everard, is a bit of a (I wanted to use a more PG term but I can’t think of one so I’m just gonna go with it) bitch. The plot revolves around her rise to fame and her ultimate downfall. Marie is, at heart, someone who has never gotten past the concept of popularity that was so important to her in high school and throughout college, and she seeks to be the center of attention at every turn, no matter the cost. During the course of the book, she commits three awful acts (no spoilers!) to try to solidify her status in society, and these acts, in turn, backfire on her and almost cost her her friends, her job, and her life.
Marie has two best friends, Alex and Kate, who have been there at her side since middle school. They are beginning to try to move on past Marie’s deluded conceptions of society, but are having trouble untangling themselves from their roles in Marie’s life.
Also central to the story are Ryder and Dakota, who are antitheses to each other and appear in the story in almost direct contrast to each other. Ryder is the famous person that Marie wants to be. He’s handsome, charming, and always within snapping distance of the paparazzi, but underneath that shiny visage is a twisted, dark and abusive person. He is always slipping between these two different personalities. Dakota, however, is a reclusive librarian and publisher, intellectual, self made, and always honest. Marie mistakes him for someone else and is initially turned off by his quiet nature, which is, in her eyes, bizarre.
So that’s my checkin for this week, I guess. I’m still not sure if March 15th is going to happen, but if it’s not, I’ll know by next Monday for sure.
This week I took a quote I liked from Pinterest- “Like, I just wanna make art, read books and find someone who likes me enough to kiss my face”.
“Life is so full of struggles sometimes,” Rebecca remarked to Maria as they were walking away from the countertop, coffee in hand. “Like, I just wanna make art, read books and find someone who likes me enough to kiss my face. Is that too much to ask?”
“I guess so.” Maria responded. This was not the first time they’d had this particular conversation, and with every reiteration, Maria found she had less to say.
They sat down at their usual corner table and waited for their food.
“Like, I’ve been single so long, I think three more species went extinct since the last time I was in a relationship,” Rebecca continued, oblivious to Maria’s lack of enthusiasm on the subject. She was into abstract metaphors lately.
“That’s such a terrible thing to say, Rebecca!” Maria exclaimed.
“Maybe, but I’m not wrong. I could look it up right now, want me to?”
“I think he gave me a full fat caramel caffé macchiato instead of a skinny one,” Maria said, by way of changing the conversation. She took the lid off of the cup and gave it a once-over, as if she could tell the fat content of her beverage by looking at it.
Rebecca, who was about to tell Maria she thought the guy sitting across from them was cute, fell silent and took out her phone as Maria kept poking at her beverage.
The guy sitting across from them, who had initially thought Rebecca was kind of cute, assumed that she had a boyfriend that she was texting.
Rebecca, who was just scrolling randomly through her Facebook feed, was trying to disguise the fact that she thought Maria was being a bit of a bitch.
Maria, who had lied about her suspicions about the skim milk in her coffee, put the lid back on and sipped as she watched the waiter cross the room with their food.
With nothing else to say to each other, the girls quietly ate their sandwiches and left, promising to call each other to hang out again soon, and knowing, in their heart-of-hearts, they would not.