Category: Puppies

The L.A.W. – Holiday Life Advice (according to dogs.)

1. Know your hiding spots to get away from annoying relatives when necessary.

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2. Rest when you can.

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3. Plaster a huge grin on your face for anyone you see. Or just be really, really happy to see them.

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4. Don’t be afraid to make fresh tracks.

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5. But be ready to follow the leader when you need to.

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6. Examine your surroundings.

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7. Run.

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8. And run.

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9. And run.

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10 Make snow angels.

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11. Play!

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12. And do what you have to do to get the best treats.

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Tops Never Stops (being really odd).

I just ran out to Tops to do a bit of shopping and it was very bizarre in there today, internet.

First of all, going to Tops always makes me feel like I’m cheating on Wegmans, because Wegmans is basically a cult. It’s a lot farther from my house than Tops, however, and there’s a gas station right in the parking lot, and on a day where I mostly want to curl up in my jammies and drink spiked hot chocolate all day instead of venturing outside, I feel like Tops is the perfect place to hit up for some low risk snacking.

As I told my dear roommate Varenka, Tops is where you go when you’re hungover and you don’t want to run into anyone you know while you’re sneaking in to buy Cheetos and Dr. Pepper in your unwashed fat pants, whereas people dress to impress to go to Wegmans (not true).

At any rate, the cashier was ringing up my very bizarre basket, which consisted of bean sprouts, frozen pierogies, and goat cheese, and I noticed that the woman behind me had not one, but nine three packs of chocolate pudding, off-brand cheesy puffs, and saline solution.

I’m not one to judge (lemon hummus and raspberry kefir), but doesn’t 27 packs of pudding seem like a lot? I’m a little inexperienced with pudding, but it seems like a lot to me. Is she feeding an entire soccer team? How many people are on a soccer team, again? 14? Or is that football?

I digress. She just had a lot of pudding. Although to be fair, the girl in front of me was only buying ramen packets, but it’s finals week, and you gotta do what you gotta do.

Another weirdness – there was a basket hanging from the number pole thing (you know, that thing with the lighty number doo-dah) labeled “My Pick of the Week” and apparently Sharon, who was my cashier, had picked cough drops for her pick of the week. Was she sick, or was she a cough drop enthusiast? I wanted to ask, but she was a rather glare-y high schooler, so I didn’t want to be attacked by her hormone fueled rage-angsting.

I just googled cashier pole to find a picture of what I'm talking about and...it was awful, internet. So you get this picture of my dog Dr. Pepper looking askance instead.

I just googled cashier pole to find a picture of what I’m talking about and…it was awful, internet. So you get this picture of my dog Dr. Pepper looking askance instead.

I just have so many questions, internet. Like why they always seem to have containers of cut-up strawberries mixed with blueberries in the produce section. Is there a trend I’m missing out on here?

 

 

Yoga (explained by dogs) – Part 2.

1. Be grateful for people who can help you get your favorite toys out of a rough spot.

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2. Be grateful for good hiding spots.

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3. Be grateful for people who cook for you.

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4. And play with you.

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5. And even let you use them as a pillow.

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6. Be grateful for people who accompany you to parties you didn’t really want to go to.

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7. Be grateful for your beautiful face.

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8. And those who comfort you when you’re feeling sad.

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10. And at the end of the day, be grateful for a soft, warm bed.

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 Read part one here.

Sick snuggles.

I’m sick again, internet. I think my immune system is on strike.

Lucky for me, mi Madre has me under couch arrest, and I’m watching cartoons and snuggling with mes pooches, because nothing screams maturity like running to your mother when you’re sick and watching cartoons.

Also lucky for me – my pups are snuggling pros.

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My sickness ritual basically involves eating toasted bagels with cheese, watching cartoons (today’s movies of choice – From Up On Poppy Hill and Epic). I’ve also slugged a decent amount of orange juice.

What’s your sick ritual, internet?

 

Yoga (explained by dogs).

First of all and basically more important than anything else I have to say today:

My coworker brought her dogs into work today.

LOOK AT THESE NUGGETS.

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Which pretty much my my entire life worth living.

You know what’s awesome about dogs?

Dogs have astounding personalities. They are way smarter then we give them credit for. They are always in the mood for hugs.

And of course, the best part-

They are perpetually grateful.

I’ve dogsit for enough pooches to be completely assured that they are always grateful.

For. Every. Little. Thing.

And that’s a big part of what yoga is trying to teach us – to be grateful for our bodies and minds and breaths and practices and lives.

But hey, you don’t want me to tell you about what there is to be grateful for.

You want my dogs to do it.

1. Be grateful for hugs.

MOMMY!

MOMMY!

2. Be grateful for food.

Even when the cat is eating it.

Even when the cat is eating it.

3. Be grateful for naps in the sun.

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4. Be grateful for people who let you stick your face into theirs.

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5. Be grateful for those who are happy to see you whenever you get home.

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6. Be grateful for soft couches.

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7. And snuggles.

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8. And your family, even if you fight sometimes.

He started it.

He started it.

9. Be grateful for the opportunity to laugh at yourself.

I'm a table.

I’m a table. Get it? GET IT???

10. Mostly, just be grateful about life. Because it’s awesome. And so are you.

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Dog sitting – The Mystery of the Unseen Cat.

I’m dog sitting, internet. Somewhere out in the not-quite-country of Where-I-Live, for a yoga student of mine.

Theoretically, there are two dogs and three cats in this house.

Including this champion.

Including this champion. His name is Flounder and he WUVS YOU.

I have been here for several hours, however, and am pretty sure that they made up a cat. Or possibly are haunted by a very convincing cat ghost.

I have obviously seen both of the dogs, because dogs are terrible at hide and seek. I currently have one cat in my lap, whose name is possibly Violet and possibly Rose and possibly who’s a good wittle kitten? (Hint – she is). I have located the cat that I was warned I would not see. That still leaves one cat.

If I do not find this cat by the time I go to bed, I will officially start panicking, but for now I will assume that it is doing cat things elsewhere.

(By the way, some people have accused me of disliking cats, because of the way that I write about my own cat, Marmaduke. This is false. I am thoroughly indifferent to cats. Some cats I actually enjoy, even. Besides, I saw Marm just last night and we had a pleasant interaction (in that I didn’t acknowledge his existence and he

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. IT FOUND ME.

SUDDENLY, A CAT.

SUDDENLY, A CAT.

See? I like cats.

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