Scaredy-Cat.


I am a scaredy-cat, internet. Big time (which is why my dedication to and insane love of Halloween seems… well, a little paradoxical).

I scream and jump when someone accidentally brushes me at a bar (it’s made for some awkward encounters). I got freaked out the other day when Captain Apollo and I watched Coraline. You know, the animated Tim Burton movie?

Because of my skittishness, I have a long standing history of not doing so well at haunted houses. I believe the first one I went to I was about six or seven, and my Papear (grandpa) took me to a local one put on in a church right in town. Probably not so scary.

I made it about 20 feet inside until a dead man popped out of a coffin and I started crying and screaming and did not stop until Papear bought me ice-cream (manipulative? Perhaps).

You would think that would be the end of it, but when I was twelve or thirteen all the dads volunteered to take my friends and I on a haunted hayride.

I vividly remember throwing a hissy fit because I didn’t want to go, getting told that I had to go, and then getting made fun of for crying like a six-year old the entire time.

Scene repeats, three more successive years. Oddly, my parents seem to have suffered a very specific type of brain damage that prevented them from remembering the trauma of the prior year until after they were consoling me in the parking lot and my friends were laughing at me… again.

Probably the same type of brain damage that keeps them from remembering exactly how big of a wuss I am when it comes to spicy food.

At any rate, Halloween offers something different for everyone. For some, its the chance to watch scary movies and go on ghost tours. For parents, its the joy that their kids get from a night of free candy, and if they’re smart, the whiskey they spiked their coffees with to get them through a night of candy fueled children. For me, it’s the satisfaction of pulling off a really good Halloween costume.

What’s your favorite thing about Halloween, internet?

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