If you’re wondering, no, I didn’t have a reason for not posting a Yoga Tuesday blog yesterday, other than the fact that I thought it was still Monday.
Don’t judge me.
1. Don’t forget your own damn blog schedule.
2. If you put flowers in your house, people will think you’ve got your shit together. Until those flowers die, and they’re still in your house. Then not so much.
3. Make not wearing makeup to work a habit. That way, if you show up to work looking a rachet mess with no makeup on, you can just pretend you’re sick, and no one will suspect a thing.
4. Memorize one smart sounding thing about politics or the economy or culture every day to slip casually into conversation. For example:
Coworker: Man, I hate how the bank is closed on Sunday. It’s so inconvenient.
You: Just like the government, huh?
5. Occasionally leave parties early and tell people you’re going home so you can get up early the next morning and hit the gym, because you’re training for a 5k / a marathon / the Olympics / NASA.
6. Quote people no one has ever heard of. Actually, no, don’t. That’s just annoying.
7. Keep your car really clean.
8. Tuck your shirt in. Preferable wear shirts that are ironed. Or at least clean, with few / no holes.
9. Stop getting drunk in public. No one wants to see that. Also, if you’re out of college, what are you doing getting drunk anyways? In fact, if you’re in college, you shouldn’t be getting drunk either. Everyone stop getting drunk.
10. Have a definitive answer to the question where do you see yourself in five years? Then do that thing.