On last week’s L.A.W., we explored a few of my male friend’s biggest relationship deal breakers. Just to recap if you don’t remember, here’s the list they came up with:
1. Lack of passion.
2. Low self-esteem.
3. Doesn’t read books for pleasure.
4. Passive aggressive.
This week on The L.A.W., the ladies get to answer the same question!
Here’s the lady-list:
1. Inconsiderate or rude towards female family members.
5. Obsessed with their appearance.
If you compare these lists side-by-side, the male list expresses disinterest in partners that are timid and weak, and the female list dislikes partners that don’t allow for self-expression, independence, and trust.
Let’s dig deeper.
In list one, the man list, the traits are all ones that do not impact the other person. If a person reads book in their spare time and is passionate and lovely and the sun shines out their ass, that’s great, but it doesn’t impact how their boyfriend or girlfriend lives their lives.
However, in the lady list, three of four of those traits – possessiveness, control, and inconsideration – directly and negatively impact the other person. Furthermore, those traits can have a direct impact on the other person’s behaviors and emotions.
The last two, dishonesty and vanity, are both related to low self-esteem (because think about it – liars and obsessive groomers are both trying to change their appearance), which also shows up on the first list.
I’m not exactly sure what to do with this information, internet. Any thoughts?