Google Search Answers.

I’m in a helpful mood today, internet, so I figured I’d answer some of your questions.

I googled “how can I…”  and answered the top ten searches.

1. How can I keep from singing?

Close your mouth.

2. How can she slap?

With both hands! Ambidexterity!

3. How can I lose weight fast?

You can’t.

4. How can you get herpes?

By touching your no-no parts to somebody else’s.

5. How can I remember to forget song lyrics?


6. How can you mend a broken heart?

Try a gun glue.

7. How can you get HIV?

See number 4.

8. How can I make money?

Get a job.

9. How can I get IOS 7?

Wait till it comes out in the fall, bro.

10. How can I become famous?

Be good at something other people want to pay you to do.

Then I tried “what can I…”

1. What can I make with…

You gonna finish that sentence?

2. What can I do with a math degree?

I don’t know, man. What can I do with an Art degree? What are degrees? What is life?

3. What can I say lyrics?

Wow, you have terrible taste in music.

4. What can I use for lube?

5. What can I make with pizza dough?

Try this.

6. What can I make with ground beef?

Lots of things.

7. What can I do today?

Call your mother and ask her for some recipes, because apparently you suck at cooking.

8. What can I do with a communications degree?

Man, you really should have looked into that beforehand.

9. What can I bring into Canada?

Most things.

10. What can I afford for rent?

Do I look like a financial advisor?

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