I’m in a helpful mood today, internet, so I figured I’d answer some of your questions.
I googled “how can I…” and answered the top ten searches.
1. How can I keep from singing?
Close your mouth.
2. How can she slap?
With both hands! Ambidexterity!
3. How can I lose weight fast?
4. How can you get herpes?
By touching your no-no parts to somebody else’s.
5. How can I remember to forget song lyrics?
6. How can you mend a broken heart?
Try a gun glue.
7. How can you get HIV?
See number 4.
8. How can I make money?
Get a job.
9. How can I get IOS 7?
Wait till it comes out in the fall, bro.
10. How can I become famous?
Be good at something other people want to pay you to do.
Then I tried “what can I…”
1. What can I make with…
You gonna finish that sentence?
2. What can I do with a math degree?
I don’t know, man. What can I do with an Art degree? What are degrees? What is life?
3. What can I say lyrics?
Wow, you have terrible taste in music.
4. What can I use for lube?
5. What can I make with pizza dough?
6. What can I make with ground beef?
Lots of things.
7. What can I do today?
Call your mother and ask her for some recipes, because apparently you suck at cooking.
8. What can I do with a communications degree?
Man, you really should have looked into that beforehand.
9. What can I bring into Canada?
10. What can I afford for rent?
Do I look like a financial advisor?