3 more things that aren’t things that should be things.


Varenka moved in today with me and my parents. She’s staying for the next few weeks until we move into our apartment. I’m literally texting her as she’s upstairs in the same house about how much I don’t want to write this blog post right now and she’s offering me excellent moral support.

In her honor, I’m writing a sequel to this post about Things That Aren’t Things That Should Be Things.

Mostly because I’m too lazy to write the awesome story I was going to write about.

1. Lazy Injuries:

I feel like everyone has experienced a lazy injury.

Either that, or I just need to believe that everyone has experienced a lazy injury for my own sake.

A lazy injury occurs when you injure yourself in a pathetic or athletically disinclined manner. Examples include falling off the couch and bruising your arm, stubbing your toe while sitting at your desk, any type of stapler induced wound, or any injury received while asleep.

2. Retropissed: 

Varenka and I both experienced a short bout of retropissiness the other day for completely unrelated reasons. She was annoyed with her boyfriend Rory, and I was annoyed at my past self.

Retropissiness occurs when you are in an annoying situation and you aren’t upset at the time, but upon later reflection, you find that you are, in fact, pissed off about the affair.

Situations include your significant other doing something stupid or annoying, your past self doing something regrettable, and your parents punishing you for something random. Being retropissed usually occurs as a direct result of reflection, especially after having uncovered new information regarding the prior situation.

3. Octopus:

Varenka came up with the concept of octopus as a consequence of relying slightly too heavily on emoji as a communication device. The octopus emoji (octomoji) became a symbol of not wanting to interact with the world. This ties in neatly with the idea of interaction inability, which is another thing that’s not a thing that should be a thing that I discussed here. 

Emoji. Doin’ it right.

 

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