3 dating sites I would use if I was a Psychopath.

Welcome back to Psychopath Saturday here on hnwcassandra!

Today’s topic – dating sites.

Are you looking for love? Are you a little odd?

Okay, are you clinically insane?

These three sites may be for you!

1. Darwin Dating.

Are you kind of an asshole? Are you a massive egotist? How many hours, on average, do you spend obsessing over your personal appearance? Most of them?

If you’re like our friends over at Darwin Dating, you too can hone your search for love by using only the shallowest of criteria. According to their website, “Attractive people are at a disadvantage on normal internet dating sites. They have to wade through a plethora of ugly people and ugly people pretending to be attractive in order to find someone who matches their own attractiveness.”

That’s why ugly people are banned from using their site. How do you know if you’re too ugly to join? Because you get rated by their members.

They also have an extensive list of “ugly” qualities, including red hair, acne, and fat rolls.


2. Meet-An-Inmate.

Meet-An-Inmate.com caters to those who like to live on the wild side. They recognize that certain women have a predilection for bad boys.

Specifically, criminals.

Some of these inmates have extremely creative profiles.

Take Casey’s, for example.

At nights,  I’ll look out my cell window and sometimes an owl appears. At times, he will look up at me and I can see his striking eyes. Especially when it’s a full moon night. His eyes are like shiny diamonds, kind of like the eyes of a cat. Some nights it looks as if he has steam on his brow, I wonder what it would be like to be that own, to actually see what he sees, to be free, or even be able to talk to that owl. Sometimes he will give me that stare, like he wants to say you’ve came looking for trouble and here it is. As I sit here pondering the quandary I’m in. Friendships have come and gone. My desire to build strong relationships and good friendships.

That’s beautiful, Casey.

Very strange, but beautiful.

The website does have a disclaimer, saying, “by using this service, you agree to not hold us responsible for any costs, liabilities, attorney’s fee or damages that you may incur”.

Y’know, from becoming romantically involved with a convicted felon.

3. Can Do Better.

Can Do Better is the site for people who are already in relationships, but are either very insecure or are looking to move on and are unwilling to leave without another option in the bag.

It’s a site where you can put up pictures of you and your partner and people vote on whether or not you can do better. And then you can pick someone else from the Can Do Better pile.

I can’t even.

One comment

  1. TheGirl

    Ha ha ha….I mean I can understand the inmate matching site. Believe it or not some people can be rehabilitated. But the other two are just…I can’t believe real relationships can be built on something sooo shallow….Well, the can do better.. If your partner treats you like shit, then yeah you can do better.

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