Dear Yogis –
The weather here is finally getting warmer, which means that for whatever reason, the yoga clothes in the studio are starting to get shorter.
For some of y’all, however, there’s no more fabric to get rid of, short of just taking your clothes off.
I realize, as a yoga instructor, that I get to see my students in some compromising positions, and that there is a difference between true ignorance and willful ignorance in regards to yogic clothing mishaps. Yes, sometimes it’s hard to tell whether or not a pair of yoga pants are going to betray you in a wide legged forward fold before you buy them. Yes, sometimes you have no laundry and you need to put on a black pair of underwear under your light pink pants.
However, please, please stop coming into class with cotton short shorts on, because ladies, in some poses, your naughty bits are NOT covered up.
As much as it may feel good to get a bit of a breeze going on down there, everybody else is super grossed out, and honestly, if you saw yourself, you’d be super embarrassed.
This goes for men as well. Those long coverage basketball shorts WILL ride up, fellas. There are some dangling bits you have that are compromised by some of the more constricting positions we yogis like to do, anyways, so a little preventive underwear action will go for miles.
Accidents happen. I know. I have personally had a Janet Jackson style nip slip in the middle of a 200 person workshop. Important yoga people saw my right boob.
Do understand, however, that there’s a difference between an accident and having about 3 inches too little fabric.
Don’t despair, yogis.
There is hope.
It’s called spandex compression shorts.
With a little forward thinking, we can end this yoga flashing epidemic.
Together, we can restrict yoga class nudity to those people who elect to be nude for that sort of thing (nude yoga classes are a real thing, if you’re into that. I am not.).
This has been a Public Service Announcement.
Thank you for reading.