The flight from hell is finally over, internet, although I spent the last half hour of it repeating the calming mantra oh my god we’re all going to die in my head. The turbulence was awful. Awful. You know that moment when you are on a rollercoaster and you’re about to go upside-down and for one sickening moment you are positive that your seat belt isn’t fastened tightly enough and you just know that you’re going to plummet to your death? No? Just me?
Well, it was like that, internet. It was like when you’re pulling a suitcase down the stairs and it’ll roll across the width of the step before plonking down to the next one, except that the suitcase is also jerking violently back and forth and is full of people who all look like they are about to be sick.
Which reminds me. A+ to Airsickness Lady for not tossing her cookies, even when I was pretty positive I was going to toss mine.
Anyways, Ma and I made it safely to Philly, and now we’re on our flight to Charlotte on a plane about three times the size of the one we were just on. Of course as we were about to take off the captain got on the intercom and started forewarning us about turbulence and everyone started panicking and all I can think is Y’ALL ARE PANSIES BECAUSE THIS IS NOT TURBULENCE. THIS FEELS LIKE THE MASSAGE SEAT AT A PEDICURE PLACE HAS MALFUNCTIONED. THIS FEELS LIKE DRIVING DOWN A COBBLESTONE ROAD. THIS IS AN AMUSEMENT PARK RIDE GEARED TOWARDS SMALL CHILDREN AND PREGNANT LADIES.
Wait. Nope. There it goes.
Sigh. Cass out.