My man cat is female?


Hey internet. There’s no Manuscript Mondays today. It’s been a weird one over here at hnw cassandra.

So remember my no good, fat ass, lazy jerk, Prozac addled MALE cat Marmaduke? Well, we took him back to the vet today just for a checkup, and we figured out why he’s been such a wreck recently.

He’s a she.

And she’s pregnant.

Yeah.

My fat man cat is pregnant.

Technically, my fat man cat is a hermaphrodite and he’s pregnant.

Don’t even act like you can’t believe I didn’t figured that one out on my own. How much time have you spent poking around a cat’s sex bits?

That’s what I thought.

hnwcassandra cat

This guy.

Which of course explains the mood swings, the teeth loss, the weird appetite, and the peeing.

I live next to a house that used to belong to a woman with a whole bunch of cats who passed away in the fall, and since she vacated the premise, Marm has been sneaking over there a whole lot. She used to take care of strays and I guess they are still hanging around the property and whatnot. So I guess our cat met a few friends over there.

Obviously, the moral of the story here is to not take your animals to a vet that is a) run by vet students who b) can’t tell WHETHER A CAT IS MALE OR FEMALE OR BOTH.

But yeah. Apparently he’s really, really pregnant.

So.

That’s a thing.

Sigh.

UPDATE- APRIL FOOLS!

7 comments

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  3. Pingback: Dog sitting – The Mystery of the Unseen Cat. | her name was cassandra

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