Manuscript Mondays- Here goes nothing.

I’ve decided I’m not going to enter the March 15th contest after all. I’m not even remotely close to being ready to submit anything worth reading, and I just don’t have the time right now to catch up. I swear if I don’t hear back from grad schools this week, I will have a nervous breakdown. I can feel the anxiety sitting in my stomach like a nest of vipers going you’re not going to get in you pathetic loser and I can’t get away from it. I just want to curl up into a little ball and refresh my email until I get something. This hanging-in-the-balance thing is driving me insane.

However, despite all of this panic attacking I’ve been doing, work on my book, Alpha, continues slowly but steady, and despite my misgivings about quality, I’ve decided to suck it up and let y’all read the scene where we meet Marie, Kate, and Alex for the first time.

I’ll take any and all feedback on this, peeps. If you don’t want to comment, feel free to email me at


“Well, if it isn’t the Threesome,” a male voice said loudly as they crossed the threshold into the club. Heads turned, and even over the music Marie could make out the ever-present murmur of voices that always greeted her arrival. She inclined her head slightly and gave the guy a once over as they made their way to the bar.

He was tall and broad, definitely cute, but nothing special. Freckles flickered over his pointy nose, green eyes peeked out from a tidily cut sweep of red hair, but there was nothing worth remembering about him. He was leaning against the bar in a gesture of constructed ease, but his toes pointed together rather than outwards, a sure sign of timidity. His chin was tucked in a submissive way, and he kept staring, gawking really. She smiled. A Random – a reckless one, but an unaffiliated Random clearly out to boost his social status on a gamble. He had most likely been waiting for them to arrive. She caught eyes with Alex, her favorite Beta, and raised an eyebrow. Alex smirked.

It was not the first time Marie had been accosted as she entered the bar, nor would it be the last. Such was the price of popularity. Usually, she didn’t deign to speak to the nameless and the unranked, pariahs who roamed the outskirts of her social circles clinging to the undertow of what was “in”, but what the hell. She’d throw a dog a bone. She was in a good mood.

The bartender handed Alex a glass of white wine and Kate, the third member of their trio, a cosmopolitan, without being prompted. Her girls could be tirelessly predictable. The bartender waited for her order patiently. Marie slid past the Random to get closer to the bar and leaned her head in conspiratorially.

“What’s the drink of the night, Larry?” she asked jovially.

Larry grinned. “Most of the girls are drinking mojitos tonight, and the group of boys in the corner just ordered a round of 9.”

“Number 9 it is, Larry. Thank you.”

She turned her attention to the boy still leaning on the bar top.

“To whom do I owe the pleasure of the greeting?” she asked lightly, watching as his fingers started to tighten around the neck of his own Magic Hat. He hesitated just a moment too long before answering. Careful, Nobody, your awkwardness is showing, Marie though to herself.

“It’s Evan,” he said, leaning closer to her, trying to compensate for the noise of the club. His upper body rotated to face her and his feet started to shift subtly into a more commanding position.

Better, Marie thought. Not quite there, but better. She shifted so the neckline of her top drifted downwards to a more revealing angle as she accepted a smoking bottle from Larry. Evan’s feet immediately turned back inwards. She smirked.

“I see,” Marie replied. “I’m Marie, and this is Alex and Kate. But you knew that, of course.”

Evan’s eyes shifted from her to Alex and Kate somewhat blankly.

“Pleased to meet you,” he said, refocusing on Marie. “Glad to finally meet the girl behind M. You’re certainly popular on the circuit.”

Kate shifted her weight to one foot and put her hand on her hip.

“Bored,” she said icily.

Marie smiled at her.

“Now Kate, don’t be rude to our fan club. Or more accurately, mine.”

She fished a pen from her bag and dragged a cocktail napkin on the bar top towards her with one finger. Signing it, she handed it to Evan with the tips of the fingers.

“There’s an autograph to take home and frame, sweetheart. Always love to meet a fan.”

Without another word, Marie turned and walked deeper into the club, leaving a shell-shocked Evan behind. Kate followed briskly. Alex gave him her signature onceover, snorted, and left him in the dust.

Evan was left with the delicate paper dangling from his fingertips, ripped by the force of Marie’s signature. The bartender, Larry, leant over towards him. He gestured towards the three girls, who were walking through the club almost in slow motion, so everyone could get a good look at them. The blonde one, Kate, casually flicked her hair behind her shoulder as she passed by a table of girls clutching tumblers of bright green mojitos.

“They’re pretty to look at, but God, they’re all stuck-up bitches,” Larry said consolingly to Evan.

“I suppose so,” Evan replied, crumpling the napkin in his hand and directing his gaze to the table the Threesome had passed by. Two of the girls sitting there had their hands pressed to their mouths to stop the sound of their laughter from escaping as their friend imitated Kate’s pretentious hair flicking maneuver. Evan put an extra dollar on the bar for Larry and walked over to the table with the mojitos, leaving the napkin with Marie’s signature on it for the bartender to throw away.



One comment

  1. Pingback: Manuscript Mondays- 3A. | her name was cassandra

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