I got caught watching porn in a library.


Wait, let me back up.

I am one of the most oblivious people you have ever met. Honestly, my short term memory is about six minutes, tops. Long term memory, pretty good, but you can say something to me and ask me to repeat what it was two minutes later and I will short circuit like a puppy looking at itself in the mirror. I can’t even count the number of times Mom has asked my opinion on something I completely missed. I could be driving down the street to my own house, miss the turnoff, and think I was headed somewhere else. 

So when you add in the fact that I decided to write my thesis on women’s sexuality, you knew trouble was about to happen. Especially when you add in the fact that I would be doing an art project along with it and that a lot of the images I needed to research or contemplate were pretty NSFW.

I'm actually not making this up. This is one of my safe for work pieces from my thesis.

I’m actually not making this up. This is one of my SFW pieces from my thesis. Which was on sex. Really.

I was pretty well in the thick of things at the library doing research. I was in the quiet section on the third floor in a corner which had one of the few power strips in the library, which meant that it was pretty busy where I was sitting because people needed to plug their laptops in. I had already started writing a bunch of sections for my topic- introduction of sexuality in children, raunch culture, societal pressure on women and links to eating disorders, yada yada- and I was bored and hopping from subject to subject. I was toying with an article I was reading on early feminism and its links to pornography, and it occurred to me that maybe I should do a section on the ethics of porn.

Before I knew it, I was browser deep in some crazy, badly subtitled, half baked plot about a mechanic and his inexplicable lady harem. I plugged my headphones in and grabbed my notebook (yeah, I took notes on porn for school credit. What did you do this semester?). I noticed the the sound didn’t seem to be very loud, so I kept turning the volume up.

It took me a full 3 minutes at least to notice that everyone was staring me down. I know this because I was midway through writing the comment “image appears unedited”. Yeah, I’d plugged my earphones into the wrong port in my computer and turned the volume all the way up so everyone in my section of the library could hear the cliché bad music and… other noises of the video I was watching. There was definitely someone not so subtly standing behind me checking out my screen. The kid on the other side of my desk was either hiding behind his divider having a seizure, or laughing so hard that he’d lost the capacity to produce sounds at a frequency human ears can pick up on.

I am quite honestly proud of past me for what happened next, because yes, I absolutely plugged in my headphones the right way and finished the video like a champion. Sometimes you see your most embarrassing moment happening before your eyes and you’re powerless to stop it, and sometimes, you get play it off.

Honestly though, next time you have to take notes on porn, just go home, playa.

One comment

  1. Pingback: Favorite Posts revisited. | her name was cassandra

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