Here goes nothing.

Right at the end of 2012 I read an article on that I sincerely hope has changed my life. I read it once through and re-read it immediately, bookmarked it, took notes on it, and read it again.

If you haven’t bothered to click the link it’s essentially about a scene in the movie Glengarry Glen Ross in which Alec Balwin’s character is giving a speech to a bunch of employees. It’s a decently long speech, but the summation is this- the world doesn’t care about you if you produce nothing, so if you want to work here, get results. If you want to work here, close.

I am a self confessed non-closer. I’m pretty much as non-committal as they come. I think what’s worse is that I’m very good at lying to myself and others about how good I am at things I’m supposed to be good at, at writing, and at the six or seven petty jobs I work to buy myself shit I don’t need.

I am fortunate. I come from a good family who I adore and who adore me and who will support me in even my craziest endeavors. However, I’m beginning to suspect that I’ve been living with the deep-rooted belief that I am guaranteed a good life, and recently It’s been sinking in that if I wallow long enough in my own apathetic unproductiveness, I will one day wake up unable to dig myself out of the hole I am currently creating.

So I suppose, in my own way, this is me publicly shaming myself to do something about it. To produce. To have something to my name when I tell people I’m a writer and they roll their eyes at me. A blog about myself, for myself, in the spirit of creation. A blog I can post something on, no matter how small or stupid, every day, just to defy that little voice in my head screaming at me saying that I will fail.

Let’s roll, bitches.


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